Living with forgiveness of self as a mother…

Written by Liatt Erman

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Wouldn’t it be nice to enjoy those beautiful faces before they just turn into distant memories locked up in photographs of years so long ago?

To enjoy and appreciate the precious moments without the anxiety and stress which so many of us mothers have gone through in our lives…

Wouldn’t it be nice, wouldn’t we grab the chance to step back in time and wish we could have done it so much better…enjoying the tears and the dirty diapers that now are just a faded memory?

To go back in time and choose to be calm, choose to take care of ourselves emotionally, physically, and mentally, which would have ended up creating the mother we wish we could have been…

The things I know now I wish I knew then…

That proper whole body nourishment would have been the remedy for those days and nights feeling like the crying, sleepiness nights, and piles of laundry would never end…

That we can go back to the times in our lives and change our choices for the better, which can create the new me right now…

As if the mistakes and choices made emotionally never existed…

Its real, this concept…

I learned it in the name of Rav Avigdor Miller zt”l, which he learned from his Rebbeim in Slobodka.

It’s called “B’chira L’nafreya”, going back into our memories and doing teshuva for our past wrong choices, our past mistakes.

Admitting fully from our hearts that “if I only knew better, I would have been better, I would have done better”…

We can now choose the better path…

The knowledge of “how to” is here and accessible now…more than it was in our lives before…

We now understand and are more “in tune” with ourselves and the fluctuations inside of us…

We now know how we can “ride the waves” of our hormones which we didn’t know before…

We now have the awareness that what we eat and how we take care of ourselves, especially during the postpartum years, has a tremendous impact on our minds and what type of mothers we will be now, and in the future…

The more knowledge and awareness we have can not only impact the present, but if we think about the “if only I knew then what I know now” with a complete and pure teshuva, it can make waves in the spiritual world and even have an impact on our decisions and mistakes of the past…

Creating the much needed forgiveness we all need, giving the opportunity for our “True You” to shine!

 

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